Every week on The Daily Whatever Show, we try to laugh our way through the national dumpster fire—and today’s Fucked-Up Friday was no exception.
was in “war-torn” Portland (where the biggest crisis was a mocha with not enough chocolate), I was trying not to scream about the weaponization of justice, and our friend Rich Kagan of joined from France to deliver one of the wildest stories yet.I kicked things off with what might be the most chilling sign yet of Trump’s authoritarian slide: New York Attorney General Letitia James has been indicted on bogus “mortgage fraud” charges, accused of mislabeling a Virginia property on a 2020 loan application. The supposed “ill-gotten gains”? Under twenty grand—yet she’s facing up to 30 years in prison. It’s naked political revenge from a government now weaponizing the DOJ to punish its enemies. This is banana-republic stuff, and the fact that we’re even talking about it with a straight face shows how far we’ve fallen. Read more at Reuters.
Then Dana took us live to the supposed “battlefield” of Portland, where—despite Trump’s apocalyptic rhetoric about a city on fire—life looks suspiciously normal. No tanks. No troops. No “Antifa uprising.” Just great coffee, Powell’s Books, and a vending machine at a local college stocked with free Narcan, Plan B, condoms, and fentanyl test strips—a perfect symbol of the city’s radical compassion. The Trump administration, meanwhile, is literally buying up buildings in Portland and Chicago, apparently turning “law and order” into a real-estate play. You can’t make this shit up. See coverage via Newsweek.
Finally, Rich took the crown (and possibly the internet) with his pick: RFK Jr. linking circumcision and Tylenol to autism. You heard that right. According to him, the pain from circumcision—and the Tylenol given afterward—somehow causes autism. No science, no logic, just another fever-swamp conspiracy getting megaphoned by the Trump-Kennedy freak show. Rich, live from Carcassonne, somehow made it both hilarious and horrifying. Read coverage via The Daily Beast.
By the end of the hour, we’d crowned Rich our Fucked Up Friday winner—partly for the story, partly for surviving France’s collapsing government while raising a bilingual daughter and dodging Trump’s mugshot at the consulate. Dana’s Portland story was a close second, if only for the visual of her heroically enduring 18-minute dinner delays in the “hellscape.” My story ranked, mostly because we all expect to be indicted by a grand jury in the Trump regime at this point.
Every week, this segment reminds us that America’s not short on absurdity—it’s just running low on shame.
Thank you
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