Yesterday’s Fucked-up Friday podcast was a bit grim.
So today we wanted to talk uplifting news—and Substack’s own and her delivered that with a massive #Bumblegate win.
The Burned Haystack Dating Method (BHDM) is a feminist dating methodology that teaches women to recognize harmful rhetorical patterns —things like “disciplinary/directive,” “I’m the prize,” or my personal favorite, “test and apologize.” Men displaying these patterns are giving early clues they’re too problematic to date.
In BHDM, we “block to burn” these men, and move on.
Instead of the traditional swipe left, BHDM recommends we block undesirable suitors, to avoid the apps recycling previously rejected men. It’s an act of reclaiming our time , energy, and ultimately, our power.
At the risk of a terrible pun, the BHDM has caught fire across social media. Hundreds of thousands of women and nonbinary folks apply this method to stay sane while online dating, across all the apps.
Including Bumble.
Ahhh, Bumble is where shit got really interesting, as Jennie noted women writing her all at once, observing how men they’d previously blocked on Bumble had resurfaced.
Jennie recognized this for what it was. Yes, it was likely a product decision made in response to a shortage of women of women to go around on the app. Yes, Bumble probably thought they could get away with it, as tech giants typically can. Who has the power to defy them?
Turns out, women do.
Jennie—with her brilliant use of language and messaging—called Bumble out for the consent violation this was. She asked how an allegedly feminist-oriented dating app could refuse to listen to women.
She insisted Bumble hear that no means no.
And thanks to her efforts, and those of the entire BHDM community (the “Haystackivists”), the world listened.
Listen to the podcast for more details, and especially for why this is a very genXy win.
With
as Dana’s most enthusiastic hell yes of a Substack recommendation, Lawrence weighed in with a few reccos of his own:Dean Blundell is a Canadian sports writer and DJ, who is building a “Canadian news plus” Substack, chock-full of fascinating takes from the True North. He’s wired into the upcoming Canadian election this Monday, April 28th, and he’s the guy who broke the story about how Mark Carney, the new Canadian PM (who is hopefully about to be elected to a full “term”) ocrhestrated a US bond selloff with the EU and Japan which was the real reason Trump slowed down the tariff madness.
The other ‘stack I’m reading compulsively is Grey Galaxie, who writes the Substack Cosmic Chaos, wherein she delivers prophecy about US politics and main characters based on her adept astrology and Tarot skills. She’s also a Chaos Witch and includes cool spellwork in her writing. She is a lyrical wordsmith, and I always find her work to be not just well-written and powerful, but come away with insights and deep thoughts about how the world (and cycles, and history, and patterns) work, every single time.
Huge thanks to
, , and many others for tuning in for today’s The Daily Whatever. LOVE YOU MEAN IT!
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