Today’s Fucked-Up Friday episode had everything: an atmospheric river in Seattle, Cliff Schecter breaking down the breaking news story from Blue Amp Media, delightful chatter in the chat, and then the universe said: “What if we release brand-new Epstein photos right now in the middle of the show?” Truly, an absolute masterclass in how not to do PR — and yes, we yelled about how stupid it is to drop news bombs like this on a Friday.
Democrats, please stop doing that.
But first: Cliff. Our colleague, our friend, our chaos engine. We love him, and today he was in rare form — cracking jokes about Atlantis vs. Uranus, Jeffrey Toobin Zoom violations, and the general horrors of American politics with an ease that only someone who has been professionally disappointed by Democrats for 30 years can summon.
Our Fucked-Up Friday picks
Once we finally got Cliff out of the green room and stopped talking about Mark Halperin’s pants, we launched into our three contender stories:
Cliff’s story:
A man in New Zealand stole a $19,000 Fabergé egg… and swallowed it to escape. It took authorities six days to retrieve it. As Cliff put it, officers had to monitor every single “fecal exit.” Yes, that was his exact phrase, and yes, we broke down laughing like middle-schoolers. This man has um, birthed, the only Fabergé egg with a full digestive provenance.
Lawrence’s story:
Indiana politics, for once, didn’t roll over. The Indiana Senate voted down the new gerrymandered maps, despite weeks of pressure. And that’s good! But then post-vote Heritage Foundation posted a ridiculous Tweet, effectively threatening legislators that if they didn’t fall in line, the people of Indiana would suffer. “…if the Indiana Senate fails to pass the map, all federal funding will be stripped from the state.” Lawrence walked through how egregious this threat is, why it matters, and how open intimidation has become part of the right’s playbook.
Dana’s story:
I followed with a story that honestly could only exist in 2025: Republican Red Winery’s new “Freedom Collection,” featuring a 1.5-liter magnum of Cabernet literally called “I Am Charlie Kirk.”
It’s a $135 bottle of wine — in this economy — marketed as a “meaningful gift for fellow patriots” and a tribute to “thoughtful dialogue, truth, and unity.”
And that is—grotesque. The price. The branding. The sacrilegious imagery of a wine meant to commemorate a man who was literally shot in the neck, with a bottle whose neck is its whole selling point.
And yes, we got weird with it — blood-of-Christ references, “Charlie Kirk wafers,” and the idea that opening the bottle should produce a dramatic, bullet-adjacent pop. By the time we were designing a “Kirky jerky” beef jerky (for charity!), the chat had fully left its body.
The votes were pretty divided, but in the end, I managed to eek out a win with the Kirk wine.
Oh — and the Epstein photos actually dropped. Live.
We were in the middle of the show when the chat suddenly told us: “Uh… the Epstein pics just released. Trump is in them.”
Tabs opening everywhere. Cliff narrating the horror (“Trump condom, $4.50 — that’s gross”), the chat screaming, Lawrence scrolling the PBS link, me yelling “Burn them all” while still insisting on due process because I’m a mom and that’s how we’re wired.
A needed break in a deranged moment
For a political moment this bleak — war crimes, corruption, fascist creep — today was a reminder that laughing together doesn’t mean ignoring the news. It means surviving it.
Fucked-Up Friday is catharsis.
It’s community.
It’s a pressure valve in a week that offered none.
And today, between the Fabergé egg, the mid-show Epstein drop, and Cliff’s unhinged PR wisdom, we got exactly the relief we needed.
Thank you Nick Paro, Dr. Amber Hull, Polly Walker Blakemore, Char Sundust, Melissa Corrigan, she/her, and many others for tuning in. We love you, mean it!
