Yes men make mistakes but they should be in their best behaviour in the beginning. If he’s interested enough he’s not going to jeapodise the connection.
This man was a stranger, I think perhaps you projected hope onto him without a foundation to support that. it seems self sabotaging to me. Kind of like disregarding a yield sign and instead accelerating.
Very beautifully written! I felt every nuance of every choice you made—including my own wonderings of BHDM is sometimes too harsh, and isn’t there room for mistakes? This is my reaction simply reading your article. NOW, I’ll go listen to what Jennie has to say in response. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I loved it!
Some behaviour is a blip. Some is a pattern. Sometimes a girl just has to have fun. It is good to have direct experience that your instincts are good so long as not too much time is wasted.
I identify all too well … “Am I too quick to block and move on? Perfection doesn’t exist.” I excused “minor” red flags in my most recent relationship lasted two years … 1.5 years too long.
I met a guy called Owen online. He said he liked my profile and was curious about the fact that I did kickboxing. But he would prefer to know more about the more soft and feminine side of me. I didn’t reply to this so then he apologised and said, no doubt I’ve offended you now, sorry. He had. I left it there…
I didn’t realise it was test and apologise but something didn’t feel right…
I love your article! Your thought process represents what a lot of us go through with the cognitive gymnastics. 😂 BHDM is amazing! It’s one of the main reasons I got off of all dating apps (haha) and now I just apply it out in the wild of ‘real life’.
Oh man, thank you for the nuance in applying Burned Haystack. I’m dating for the first time in 25 years (also here in the pnw) and navigating touch, sexual energy, and consent in early dating is confusing the crap out of me 😂. I’m pretty far the other direction, low back before date 3 is pushing my comfort zone. But that comes with its own set of problems with people thinking I’m not interested in them other than friends. So I’m trying to nudge my comfort zone, and come to peace with the fact that I’m just going to be awkward and require a lot more verbal consent in the time being. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
honestly disappointed in relationships and love life. My adult personal life been lackluster, dry friendships, stupid dates. It feels like there's nothing for me to continue pushing forward when my 1st family dies and my mother is already disabled, I know I will have no one.
This story reminds me of the times I'm tempted to block readers but I decide to give them a second chance. Almost every time, they hit me with another rude comment and I wished I'd blocked them. My dating life improved when I left the USA ;)
Seems like jumping into a game of who can send the least appropriate song the next time you saw him wasn’t only a way to move past the awkwardness, it normalized that behavior.
“Though it may sting — or sometimes outright ache — I’m happy my heart remains that kind of fool. “
I could not love this article more. It’s hard to stay open and soft while attempting to protect our hearts. But isn’t that dating?
I think it takes enormous amount of self confidence and assurance to stay in that place. For now, I’d probably give someone a chance if he makes my heart pound a little faster like you said. It’s part of the fun, while being vigilant about potential red and yellow flags.
Ask me again a year later - when I’m completely burned out and had enough heartaches. :p
Did you name him Mason because you found your encounter jarring?🤔
Hahahahaha! From now on I’m going to say, YES. This is very funny/punny!
Yes men make mistakes but they should be in their best behaviour in the beginning. If he’s interested enough he’s not going to jeapodise the connection.
This man was a stranger, I think perhaps you projected hope onto him without a foundation to support that. it seems self sabotaging to me. Kind of like disregarding a yield sign and instead accelerating.
Very beautifully written! I felt every nuance of every choice you made—including my own wonderings of BHDM is sometimes too harsh, and isn’t there room for mistakes? This is my reaction simply reading your article. NOW, I’ll go listen to what Jennie has to say in response. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I loved it!
Thank you SO much, Jana! Comments like yours mean the world. 💜
"If it's not a good time, it will be a great story" applies here.
Some behaviour is a blip. Some is a pattern. Sometimes a girl just has to have fun. It is good to have direct experience that your instincts are good so long as not too much time is wasted.
I identify all too well … “Am I too quick to block and move on? Perfection doesn’t exist.” I excused “minor” red flags in my most recent relationship lasted two years … 1.5 years too long.
I am very content with my single-lady life at the moment!
Me too! Mostly...
I met a guy called Owen online. He said he liked my profile and was curious about the fact that I did kickboxing. But he would prefer to know more about the more soft and feminine side of me. I didn’t reply to this so then he apologised and said, no doubt I’ve offended you now, sorry. He had. I left it there…
I didn’t realise it was test and apologise but something didn’t feel right…
I love your article! Your thought process represents what a lot of us go through with the cognitive gymnastics. 😂 BHDM is amazing! It’s one of the main reasons I got off of all dating apps (haha) and now I just apply it out in the wild of ‘real life’.
Awww thanks so much, Lisa!
Oh man, thank you for the nuance in applying Burned Haystack. I’m dating for the first time in 25 years (also here in the pnw) and navigating touch, sexual energy, and consent in early dating is confusing the crap out of me 😂. I’m pretty far the other direction, low back before date 3 is pushing my comfort zone. But that comes with its own set of problems with people thinking I’m not interested in them other than friends. So I’m trying to nudge my comfort zone, and come to peace with the fact that I’m just going to be awkward and require a lot more verbal consent in the time being. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Thanks so much Chris—it’s all so confusing, isn’t it? I’m glad my story resonated. Best of luck out there!
honestly disappointed in relationships and love life. My adult personal life been lackluster, dry friendships, stupid dates. It feels like there's nothing for me to continue pushing forward when my 1st family dies and my mother is already disabled, I know I will have no one.
I’m so sorry—I hope you find at least a couple meaningful connections. 💜
This story reminds me of the times I'm tempted to block readers but I decide to give them a second chance. Almost every time, they hit me with another rude comment and I wished I'd blocked them. My dating life improved when I left the USA ;)
Seems like jumping into a game of who can send the least appropriate song the next time you saw him wasn’t only a way to move past the awkwardness, it normalized that behavior.
“Though it may sting — or sometimes outright ache — I’m happy my heart remains that kind of fool. “
I could not love this article more. It’s hard to stay open and soft while attempting to protect our hearts. But isn’t that dating?
I think it takes enormous amount of self confidence and assurance to stay in that place. For now, I’d probably give someone a chance if he makes my heart pound a little faster like you said. It’s part of the fun, while being vigilant about potential red and yellow flags.
Ask me again a year later - when I’m completely burned out and had enough heartaches. :p
Easily the worst person in this story is “Maxwell”.