Thank you, this waa good information/advice for someone who is also just starting to date men in her 40s. (In my case not again but for the first time)
Thankfully I'm not looking for a life partner, so that makes it easier in some ways. I think I can take a hit more easily as I'm in happy relationships.
My theory is needy men want needy women. They are emotionally starved - probably because they are lonely in more than one way - and hope a woman will fix it. An accomplished woman won't do that, she won't fix his life and she won't coddle his ego. That's where the resentment comes up.
And many are hurt by the dating dynamics - they can't reconcile the fact that for once they are not in power. I had a guy friend say "If she's not willing to meet immediately, she's out". Well, if it works for him, good for him... But I have to go through 100s of men who swipe on me because so many swipe indiscriminately - of course I'm gonna do some filtering - I can't go on dates with so many people.
And honestly I don't like the dynamic either - it might sound like an advantage but it's also exhausting. Dating lesbians was easier in some ways.
That sounds like “negging”, which I’ve heard about, except his goal doesn’t seem to be to want to make you try harder. Weird. People who feel they’ve been shortchanged or hurt and therefore have a need to hurt others as a means of “leveling the field” suck. That’s precisely the wrong response they should have.
Thank you, this waa good information/advice for someone who is also just starting to date men in her 40s. (In my case not again but for the first time)
Thankfully I'm not looking for a life partner, so that makes it easier in some ways. I think I can take a hit more easily as I'm in happy relationships.
My theory is needy men want needy women. They are emotionally starved - probably because they are lonely in more than one way - and hope a woman will fix it. An accomplished woman won't do that, she won't fix his life and she won't coddle his ego. That's where the resentment comes up.
And many are hurt by the dating dynamics - they can't reconcile the fact that for once they are not in power. I had a guy friend say "If she's not willing to meet immediately, she's out". Well, if it works for him, good for him... But I have to go through 100s of men who swipe on me because so many swipe indiscriminately - of course I'm gonna do some filtering - I can't go on dates with so many people.
And honestly I don't like the dynamic either - it might sound like an advantage but it's also exhausting. Dating lesbians was easier in some ways.
That sounds like “negging”, which I’ve heard about, except his goal doesn’t seem to be to want to make you try harder. Weird. People who feel they’ve been shortchanged or hurt and therefore have a need to hurt others as a means of “leveling the field” suck. That’s precisely the wrong response they should have.
Thanks red and as. 52 year old starting to date again … IT SUCKS
But there’s always a British man who would date you with gray hair and tattoos … oh that’s me lol ❤️
I don't have advice. I do offer a virtual hug.