19 Comments
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Kate Seward | Late Bloomer's avatar

This is so right on. I’ve had very few relationships and always felt like something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t pretty enough, cool enough, sexy enough, feminine enough. Thin enough. The list goes on. But really I just don’t like that many people, which I guess is why some people would say I’m single. I would love to have more sex, and I hope I do again, but I’m not interested in casual sex. I’m interested in having sex with someone I actually like spending time with and who is fun. Someone who brings me joy—because sex is joyful, as is emotional connection.

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Dana DuBois's avatar

"Someone who brings me joy—because sex is joyful, as is emotional connection." -- yessssss, 100000%!

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Andrew's avatar

Thanks Dana … you are, of course, someone’s ideal woman so stay just as you are! Mister kind and gentle (mostly) will find you. Oh … column A, #2 because we see your face 😄

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Awww Andrew. Thank you. I like that photo as well. 😊

I had a funny thought that if enough people commented on their favorites in the grid, I’d offer a full resolution version of a photo to any paid subs.

We’ll see if anyone else comments and maybe I’ll do it. 😉

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Trilety Wade's avatar

I didn’t see your comment until now and I said the same thing!!!

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Awww thanks Andrew. 💜

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Dana BC's avatar

The NYT can go suck itself. Your slip is gorge. I went 5 years once, between my husband's antipathy to our trans kid, his cancer diagnosis, and death. You will reemerge. And us Xers are well old enough to know that mind blowing sex only happens when our brains and emotions are as engaged as our bodies. This isn't a secret, but people keep acting like it is. Ffs. <3 -other Dana (we are rare, and as a result, somewhat flamboyant)

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Trilety Wade's avatar

Really great post! Super inclusive at a time when a lot of people are being left out. Also, all the images are hella hot, but it's the second row from the top, far left that is the hottest because it's the only one with the lip - which indicates you have a face, and it's often the face that is the sexiest. Anyway, great writing and great photographing - the nipple hounds will go crazy for the pics.

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Sarah's avatar

You read that NY Times article and rolled your eyes so hard, you checked out your own ass! 😂

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Hah!!! Yesssss, that’s perfect. 😏😊😊😊

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Polly Walker Blakemore's avatar

I read that article. I share your take on it 100%. Thank you!

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Heather's avatar

BRAVO, Dana, as usual. I was irked, to say the least, when I originally read this article and extra irked when I read it again before your piece. I align WAY more with your experiences and take than the NYT author. But, I even TRIED to get into casual sex, think that was the ticket out of being lonely. Turns out it was worse than I could've imagined. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. Proudly GenX, but not a cookie cutter.

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Bless Your Heart!'s avatar

Quality over quantity.

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Dana DuBois's avatar

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, always

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Oli Trollgora's avatar

I would say, "Only a year? Wait a decade and then talk to me." :-) It is one of those comments that my readers don't understand. Yes I write erotica. I write very detailed and graphic erotica at times. I like sex and miss not having a partner. But I created my own situation and don't blame anyone for it. I went from Married, to Divorced, to Single Parent, to Caregiver in the span of two and a half decades. Between work, family, church, and other obligations I really don't have time or money to date. So I take care of myself. Reading, listening, and watching as women (especially our generation) say what they want in a partner. I completely agree, so I will happily tend to my own needs until I encounter someone who has their own life but just wants to add me to it. Something that probably won't happen any time soon but I am a patient man. Great article. I always enjoy your takes on Gen X.

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Mike Kinde's avatar

Thanks, Dana. It’s refreshing to hear a more nuanced take on these experiences.

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Thanks so much, Mike! I'm so glad you appreciated it.

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Michael Martin's avatar

Thank you Dana- I love your perspective... I read that NYTimes article with a fair amount of skepticism. Most of the articles, talk about our loss of freedoms, the desecration of our planet, and needless death. How is it that people are having great sex? Maybe they don't read the NYTimes...

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Lori Christian's avatar

I am curious about that as well because of the rampant syphilis being reported that is the highest spread than the 1950's.

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